(Lyrics from Audience of One – Rise Against. I’ve got bout 12 tracks right now that I am just not getting bored with and this is one of the ones that stand out. Probably for this line in particular. It’s kind of funny that this is a line that I would have applied to a few people I know and have been happily surprised that it is no longer the case. The picture is of course from LOLCats and just seems fitting both for using DOOM in it as well as how I feel towards work today.)

Once again too much time has passed since one of these updates. It’s one of those things that are just bound to happen though as I’ve been fully distracted as of late. Work, social life, projects, Modern Warfare 2- all of this and more are keeping me writing up what exactly I’ve been up to on a consistent basis!

Well for starters there was a small little convention that took place in Chicago since my last update- Flashback Weekend. I have to admit getting Neil out to one of the horror events in Chicago was a nice change, and I think made it easier for me to sell him on going to more in the future. (Figured it would only take event to get him to want to hit up more.) Continuing with the horror theme, my coder fell through for Buy Zombie. After all of the work getting it going it fell apart at the end. The upside? He at least sent over the .psd and I was able to hire someone on the cheap to convert it to a WordPress theme! I just have a few last touches to iron out and a new site will FINALLY be live!

Speaking of being alive, say in the world of 2009, it is hard to imagine that any of my friends had yet to see Iron Man. Therefor it was disappointing that Leah had not yet seen it. OK not really since I was able to enjoy someone else’s first time reactions to such a fun movie again and that’s always a nice change.

Rose decided she wanted a blog she could rant on. I’ll give you one guess who got talked into setting it up (not that I know anything about setting up WordPress blogs.) So Tiny Cynic was born. (I clearly had nothing to do with the name.) If it wasn’t for some CSS issues with how the theme was setup by default it would have taken I believe a whole 5 minutes to setup. (So yea it ended up taking about an hour…)

Finally I bought a couple of new toys. A new digital camera as well as the Prestige Edition of Modern Warfare 2. To be completely honest they both game in on the same day so I have yet to open my shiny new Canon PowerShot SD780IS with it’s shiny 12.1 MP and 3x optical zoom. Apparently it also can do video. It’s a bold new world! Having not opened it yet I was clearly preoccupied with playing Call of Duty 6. I was so preoccupied I have yet to obtain batteries for the night vision goggles that came with the Prestige Edition! (Yes. I now have a digital camera and night vision goggles, I could run around at night and be that creepy guy you want to avoid at all costs. Score.) MW2 is everything I loved about Call of Duty 4 and MORE. I won’t start typing about the game as I could rant for the rest of the post on how great it is.

I know I’m missing things that happened. However, I am on too little sleep (nothing to do with staying up late playing Modern Warfare 2.)

dark-countryDark Country had to be one of the more interestingly filmed horror movies that I’ve seen lately. It mixed ‘reality’ for the most part with certain scenes looking as if they had a 3D layer added over to them. Basically a newly met and newly wed couple are traveling from Las Vegas and stumble upon a body. The body ends up not being dead and as they offer him a ride the movie starts to get interesting. While in some movies this would annoy the hell out of me as Dark Country ended up with a dream like state to large aspects of the film it fit perfectly. The male lead did a stellar performance and after having seen him as the lead in both this and The Mist I want to see him continue on in the horror genre. Bonus points for Ron Perlman in his role as a deputy in the film.

public-enemiesThe Public Enemies that I am referring too is obviously the gangster period piece starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. Of course those two weren’t the true stars of the movie, it was in fact Stephen Dorff’s performance that stole the show. Yes I’m kidding but I do wish Dorff would get to play an asshole in more movies with how well he does it. While I would have preferred a real chunk of direct interaction between Depp and Bale they did demonstrate how the two were matched against each other extremely well and how confident he could get away with everything that Dillinger was.

Taking-of-Pelham-123The remake of Taking of Pelham 123 had a lot of ups and downs throughout the film. Again a movie that has two stars pitted against one another (John Travolta and Denzel Washington) this one at least had them get a good chunk of face time with each other near the end of the movie. I have to admit I enjoyed the fact that Denzel didn’t play his normal role and mixed things up a little. While a train robbery movie is always fun in and of itself it was in fact what Travolta’s character was really trying to pull off that made the film more of a hit. They could have left out that entire subplot, still had the movie out, and it wouldn’t have been nearly as good.

state-of-playState of Play brings Russell Crowe as a reporter investigating the death of his friend’s (Ben Affleck) lover. With Ben’s character being both married and in politics it is messy right off the bat. When you add in the fact that it is also involved with the regulatory commission that his character is on and has something to do with a multi-billion dollar company that is trying to influence government decisions to increase it’s contracts and influence? NOW it’s messy. Political thrillers that can keep my attention are few and far between as most of them really aren’t written properly. This one would have been a miss as well if it weren’t for the amazing acting on both Crowe’s and Affleck’s parts. (Both of whom are actors I haven’t really dug in a movie for awhile.) If you are into political thrillers at all you may want to check this one out.

childs-playChild’s Play. The birth of another horror series that after 3 movies should have stopped. Also a horror franchise that is being rebooted soon. While I did enjoy the first 3 movies the last 2 hurt my brain when I watched them originally. So Child’s Play is of course the origin of how a serial killer ended up transferring his soul into the ‘body’ of a toy while trying to cheat death. From here he has to find someone he can transfer himself into but that of course never works out so easily. I don’t know if it’s because I saw this when I was younger, because it really is well written, or because it takes place in Chicago but I’ve always loved the first 3, OK, 2 and a half movies in this series.

childs-play-2Child’s Play 2 starts up shortly after Child’s Play came to a close. Chucky is dead. Andy, the child from the first movie, is in a foster home having been taken from his “lunatic mother” due to her insistence that a doll tried to kill her son. Kudos for using the same child in both of the first two films. The plastic mess that Chucky had been burned down two of course on a corporate level cannot be wasted so is melted down and used in creating a new Chucky doll. I’ll give you one guess as to where this goes. Yes Chucky comes back and goes to chase after Andy once again.

childs-play-3Child’s Play 3 brings us a new actor playing Andy as well as a new concept on how Chucky came back to life. Only one of those two statements are true. If you know Hollywood you will of course know that it was a new actor! Andy is now in military school learning how to be a man and not a sniveling little boy who is afraid of dolls. That of course works ‘great’ but he is able to stand up to Chucky’s madness on a military base which actually worked out pretty well for a setting. Some of the slight changes he made around the base to add his fun in into the mix was actually entertaining. While it wasn’t as good as the first two it still lived up to my expectations of a Child’s Play movie.

Bride-of-ChuckyBride of Chucky was the beginning of the end of the series. With ‘rebranding’ the title to just have Chucky in it and no longer be called Child’s Play to removing Andy to adding in a female ‘sidekick/love interest’ for Chucky. It honestly just went to hell. It did have a bit of fun horror movie trivia at the beginning where Chucky (who oddly wasn’t completely torn up as opposed to what we saw happen at the end of Child Play 3) was warehoused in a police building that also included a ton of fun horror memorabilia. An ex-lover of Chucky’s human days brings him back to life but soon finds herself at the short end of his anger and is herself transferred into another doll and they together go on a rampage while trying to find new bodies. The one thing the movie DOES have going for it though is how many tributes to other horror movies all around it has within.

seed-of-chuckySeed of Chucky, the first time I saw it made me cringe. This second showing actually wasn’t as bad but I knew how bad the film was going to be in advance so that probably softened the blow. Chucky and his bride from the previous movie apparently had a child and this child is able to bring them both back to life from a voodoo amulet shown in the same film. With their lives returned they are found to be on a set where they are filming a movie about Chucky’s killing spree which is all an urban legend as far as the general populace is concerned. The best part? Jennifer Tilly (voice of Chucky’s wife) is an actress on the film being made which results in countless bad jokes within the movie I couldn’t help but smirk at.

how-to-be-a-serial-killerHow to be a Serial Killer was a fun infomercial styled view trying to sell it’s watchers on all of the benefits to your life in turning yourself into a serial killer. I’ll be brief as I have a full review up over at Horror Society of the film. Pretty much the infomercial is what is running in the serial killer’s mind and he spends the entire film both killing people as well as training an apprentice on how to literally get away with murder. Throughout the entire film though we aren’t made aware that the infomercial is actually running in his mind until the very end.

the-descentIt really was a good month of horror movies for me. I don’t know how I missed watching this gem previously but The Descent is hands down one of the better horror films I’ve seen in awhile. While I’ve never had a fear of the dark or being claustrophobic I could feel the dread brought out by both of these fears in this film. When a woman’s family dies in a car accident her friends, who have explored caves together previously, stumble onto a new one to explore. While they are used to crawling through caves in near pitch black it quickly becomes obvious that this unexplored one has more then they bargained for in both not being safe as well as being full of a mutant offshoot of humanity that is blind and has lived underground their entire lives- who don’t mind eating humans. While the description I just gave is kind of weak it doesn’t give the full experience of seeing what they go through to survive and I can’t stress enough of how much of great flick this one was.

Assassination-of-a-High-School-PresidentAssassination of a High School President is a noir styled detective story that actually takes place in a high school. With Bruce Willis as the school’s principal and one of the school paper’s reporters as the ‘detective’ it focuses on the theft of the SAT answers. While he becomes both famous and popular from discovering who stole them he quickly learns that he has reported on a frame up and is on a race against time to determine who the real thief is and the motive behind the theft is not as clear cut as it would appear.

children-of-the-cornWhile I may have won my copy of The Children of the Corn remake it doesn’t change that fact that it really was a painful watch. It cannot compare to the creepiness of the original and the interaction between the two adults who first came into the situation did not seem genuine in the slightest. The children just weren’t as scary and the movie seemed to take an action over suspense tone that did not mesh well with the source material. While I did enjoy how they changed the end of it, if you want to watch Children of the Corn do yourself a favor and get the original.

street-fighter-the-legend-of-chun-liSo this one was a surprise but Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li wasn’t “horrible.” Don’t get me wrong it was by no means great but I went into it expecting myself to hate every aspect of the film. While they of course took liberties with the overall storyline and barely touched on the Street Fighter universe (it was an origin story for Chun Li) it did have quite a few great special effects and martial arts scenes. It is an entertaining watch as long as you do go into it knowing it won’t do much justice to Street Fighter mythos or have an in-depth plot in general.

re-animatorWhat’s this? A SECOND horror series I’ve watched? Well I just couldn’t help myself as it’s been so long since I’ve had a chance to watch the Lovecraft masterpiece of Re-Animator. This is the tale of a mad scientist named Herbert West who has discovered a way to bring the dead back to life. A satire on the Frankenstein story it tells how Herbert keeps trying to improve his ability to bring the dead back to life- with unintended side effects. The series can’t quite decide if it’s horror or comedy but meshes the two together rather well.

bride-of-re-animatorBride of the Re-Animator continues the tale told in the first as Herbert tries to have his assistant in the original, who is on the run from the law with him, assist his experiments once again. While it wasn’t an easy sell all he had to do was show that he had the heart of his assistant’s dead girlfriend who instantly wants to bring her back. Now to interject wouldn’t he need the brain as well? Aside from that though it felt true to the original and was entertaining all the way through.

beyond-re-animatorBeyond Re-Animator takes a turn away from having his normal assistant. West is put into prison nearly at the offset for murder. A child in the area where he was arrested had seen the effects of West’s chemical and grew up with the sole intent of becoming a doctor to carry on his work. He is able to apply at the prison that West is being held and quickly brings him in as a ‘helper’ while he is actually assisting in the recreation of the cure for death. While locked in solitary West has found a way to improve on his formula that will not only reanimate the death but restore them to their original cognitive abilities. Full re-animation is now possible. Of course anything with this series is never as simple as it seems and everything begins to fall apart on keeping this ‘normal’ rather quickly.

snoop-doggs-hood-of-horrorSnoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror is a tribute to the Creep Show. An anthology of short horror tales that are all linked together by Snoop’s character narrating them all. This is another movie that surprised me with how bad it could have been and actually being rather watchable. While a few of the stories were painful in implementation each one had something going for it. While if I had to see any anthology horror movie get made into a series it would of course be Trick ‘R Treat, but if this one were too I wouldn’t have any real complaints. As long as they could get a bit more actual horror movie star power in the next one.

moonWhen this little science fiction movie Moon started I had no idea where it was going. It wasn’t until about 20-30 minutes in where things began to progress to the point that made the movie actually seem to be going somewhere. Once it did though I was hooked. Sam Rockwell played his character to perfection and Kevin Spacey voicing the robot who was his assistant was a blast. With Earth’s power sources winding down we have begun to harvest helium-3 from the moon as a new power source. (Fun fact: Helium-3 is a real element found on the moon which could provide another source of power for our planet.) While I can’t go into details on how this progresses too far without giving away spoilers let me just say that if you are into a science fiction movie, that likes to take pot shots at humanity, cloning, corporate greed, and has an overall good if slow story- pick this up immediately.

UPWith all of the horror movies that I have seen as of late I do have to say that the introduction to UP takes the cake as one of the saddest and most depressing introductions of overtime. I’m clearly talking emotion here not quality as UP once again proves that Pixar is an animated movie house with power and talent. They have yet to fail to deliver a good animated movie and once more have made it increasingly more adult orientated compared to the standard kiddie fair you would expect from an animated movie. Not that there isn’t room for the children to see this as well as it really is a movie that can be appreciated by all ages. For those who have seen the movie all I can say is one thing.. SQUIRREL!

black-dynomiteBlack Dynamite is the funniest movie I’ve seen this year. While some may argue that Zombieland was, and I agreed until I had seen this, you really need to watch it before you make that judgment call. Both emulating and making fun of the 70’s blacksploitation films, Black Dynamite had me in pain from laughter. Not only was it written well but it was FILMED looking to be a 70’s film from the outfits, the sets, and the colors on the film itself everything fit perfectly. If you are at all a fan of 70’s blacksploitation films or kung fu movies and haven’t seen this yet you are doing yourself a huge disservice and need to get this immediately.

house-of-the-devilHouse of the Devil makes it two for two on films that LOOK as if they had been filmed years ago. While this would be early to mid 80’s horror instead of the 70’s it still has the same feel of not being a recent movie. Again, dialogue, sets, props, acting, visually, it’s an 80’s horror movie. I’m not talking the late 80’s horror movies either that were typical slasher flicks or cheesy but the GOOD horror with proper suspense built into the plot. I cannot wait to see what else this director pulls off and pray that he stays in the horror genre. If he does we have an easy building of a dynasty of quality horror movies on our hands since he knows what works and is able to implement it.